Raising a school-age child and mental health (ages 6 to 8)

• considering their own achievements
• taking on more responsibility
• realising actions have consequences
• seeing things from another's perspective.

Sense of self

• helping them manage their emotions
• giving them meaningful tasks to complete so they can feel competent and confident
• supporting friendships and relationships with their peers
• creating opportunities for personal challenge
• building a good relationship between school and home.

Sense of right and wrong

• being a role model for the values you want to see
• talking to them about your beliefs and values.

• Take notice of the times your child does talk. Use these times to get a conversation going.
• Make talking part of your everyday routine. Listen without getting distracted.
• Try to have meals together, as often as you can.
• Let your child talk about whatever interests them (even if it isn’t the most exciting topic for you).
• Talk about your interests and the things that make you happy with your children.
• Communicate through actions, as well as words. Show affection in the way your child likes.
• Let your children know that they can talk to you about anything. This will help as they become more independent.
• When managing conflict, listen carefully. Rather than blaming, explain your own feelings and views (“I’m disappointed that…” or “I’m upset that …”).

• observing and asking about their feelings, such as “You seem sad. Are you?”
• planning ahead with your child for a new or tricky situation
• praising them when they do well and encouraging them when they don’t
• allowing them to make decisions so they know their feelings and thoughts matter
• giving them responsibilities (for example, chores) so they feel a sense of accomplishment.

Scary stuff in the news

• Help them understand what they’ve come across.
• Provide plenty of reassurance.
• Focus on the helpers (for example, emergency workers and volunteers).
• Take care of yourself.

Conflict with siblings

Sibling conflict and rivalry is natural and can happen at any age or stage.

In families where children feel they are treated fairly by their parents, rates of sibling rivalry are lower.

Remember that being fair doesn’t mean treating children equally. When dealing with sibling conflict:

• stay calm and talk to them
• acknowledge how your children are feeling in the moment
• aim to get to the root of the problem (try to avoid the blaming and finger-pointing)
• tailor negotiation and rewards to each child’s need.

• be positive about their friendships, especially ones they’ve made themselves
• establish clear limits and boundaries (talk about and update family rules and rituals together)
• let your child make mistakes (try to avoid taking over)
• help them to challenge their self-critical thoughts (draw attention to their strengths and progress they’ve made in challenging areas)
• provide enough supervision to ensure they’re safe from harm – to themselves and other children.

• What risks have you let your child take in the past?
• What was the outcome?
• Would you encourage your child to take a similar risk again?

Strategies for personal challenge

• Encourage your child to ‘have a go.’ This shows them how to try new things.
• Give your child opportunities to experience ‘everyday’ adversity, such as losing in a game.
• Encourage free play to help them explore.
• Help your child practise reframing any negative self-talk when things don’t go well.
• Help your child develop strategies to deal with difficult situations.
• Explore activities for adventure or growth.
• Teach your child how to gradually extend themselves. Start with a small challenge and build on it.

• Be a good role model for friendship skills. Show your child how to be kind, listen and co-operate with others.
• Talk to your child about the qualities that make a good friend (for example, kindness).
• Create opportunities for your child to meet and play with friends outside school hours.
• Help them discover that peers who might have different interests can still be a friend.
• Help your child navigate disagreements or conflict. Explain other perspectives and work together to solve the problem.

• anxiety
• low self-esteem
• difficulty forming friendships
• difficulty forming friendships
• bullying
• negative experiences at school.

• Speak with their teacher or school counsellor to share information, gain insights and discover strategies to support them.
• Start by having a conversation with them about how they’re feeling.
• If your child’s change of behaviour lasts for more than a few weeks and is interfering with their daily life, speak to a health professional such as a GP.