What do we mean when we talk about festive stress?
Additional stress or feeling swamped during the festive season is something many people experience. While the time of year is meant to be about joy and celebration, it also brings unique challenges. Family dynamics, money worries, social expectations, hosting duties, alcohol, travel, and cooking… it can feel like too much at once.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. On this page, we’ll share what can happen during the season and offer simple, practical tips to help you manage it. We’ve also included resources from Beyond Blue and trusted partners, so you can find the extra support you need.
What leads to additional stress during the holiday season
Financial pressures: The strain of holiday expenses such as gifts, travel, and hosting family gatherings.
Time management: Struggling to balance personal, work, and holiday responsibilities.
Relationships: Navigating complicated relationships, family conflicts, and breakups or divorce during the holidays.
Overcommitment: Feeling overwhelmed by saying yes to every event or obligation.
Social comparison: The pressure to live up to others’ holiday experiences, especially on social media.
Accomplishment: Feelings and reflections on the year that has gone (and the one that is coming can be a source of stress, sadness, or worry).
The impacts of festive stress
The stress that comes from these events and situations can affect people in different ways. It can range from a tough week leading up to Christmas Day or extend through the holidays.
In the short term, end-of-year can bring up feelings of worry, anxiety, anticipation, and dread – all of which can impact, cause, or exacerbate stress.
In the long term, it can impact general mental health and wellbeing, and make those condition harder to manage.
People may experience physical symptoms, too. For example, the stress caused by events over the festive season can manifest as headaches, insomnia, and fatigue.
How to manage festive stress leading up to (and during) the end of year
If the end of year is causing increased stress and worry, and negatively impacting your mental health, some of the following tips may help.
Try practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques, such as meditation or breathing exercises. You can do these when you’re stressed or in preparation for feeling stressed.
Schedule in ‘self-care’. Time alone matters. You can exercise, read, watch TV, or simply unwind doing nothing – whatever recharges your batteries.
Simplify your to-do list. Being with loved ones is more important than rushing around to buy the most expensive presents or organising back-to-back activities.
Remember what’s meaningful to you and focus on gratitude. Take a moment to be thankful for what you do have – not what you don’t have.
Dealing with different sources of stress over the holiday season
Financial stresses
The pressure to pay for gifts, food, and travel can put our financial wellbeing at risk. You may feel panic, wondering if you have enough money for everything you want to buy.In moments like this, remind yourself it’s not a competition. People usually care more about quality time with friends and family than the gifts they receive (or how fancy lunch was!). Being present on the day might be more memorable than any present you can buy. Try to focus on creating positive memories with the people you love, and the small things that make you happy.
Time management
Hours in the day seem to slip away quickly when we’re busy – which is often how we feel in the lead-up to Christmas and other major holiday events. Many of us try to finish up work for the year while juggling personal commitments like end-of-year events and arranging travel plans.To minimise overwhelm, it can be good to differentiate between urgent tasks (what needs to be done ASAP) versus important tasks (what can be done later). This will give you some breathing space.
Also, consider what might help you save time. For example, can you shop online and get things delivered instead of dealing with stress of crowds? Or can you suggest that everyone brings a dish to share instead of taking responsibility for all the cooking at family gatherings?
Relationships and family
Relationships can be complicated. To avoid conflict, it helps to be aware of family dynamics and plan gatherings in a way that works for you.
Separation or divorce
There are many ways that separation or divorce can cause or exacerbate stress during the holidays. Parents, children, new partners, ex-partners, and in-laws may all want their say but disagree on how to spend the time.If you and your partner need to decide who has the children on particular days, you might like to involve them and ask what they’d like to do. Moving them from house to house might not be easy – but at least talking it over may help them feel listened to, and better equipped to adapt to change.
Family tension
Sometimes, there are family members who just don’t get along. If you’re asked to host a large party that could result in disagreements between family members—or invited to an event that makes you feel uncomfortable—it’s okay to politely say no. If you’re open to it, you could throw multiple gatherings for smaller groups instead.
Isolation
Loneliness can be exacerbated during the festive season when everyone else appears to have full social calendars and you don’t feel the same sense of belonging at this time of year.Strategies to manage include finding self-compassion and looking for opportunities to connect in small ways with people around you. For example, you might join a local event to help you feel part of your community. You might also like to engage in our Beyond Blue forums or chat to one of our counsellors online if you’re struggling.
Grief
People often experience sadness thinking about loved ones that are no longer around to celebrate the festive season. Their memory can be painful, or cause traditions at this time of year to lose their meaning.If you experience grief, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and do what’s right for you. This could mean tapping out of commitments so you can more easily manage – remember it’s okay to express your needs with those you might be spending the season with. You can also honour your loved ones by talking about them and doing their favourite festive things.
Overcommitment
It’s normal to feel stressed about all the events that are happening at Christmas, as well as other festivities that happen around the end of the year. There’s often pressure to say yes to every obligation on our plate. The truth is that some people prefer not to get involved in celebrations if they’re not religious. Or they simply don’t enjoy the time of year. Some people also experience social anxiety, and the number of gatherings they are expected to attend can intensify this anxiety.
Remember, you can decline things that don’t feel right or aren’t on your priority list. Focus on what matters to you. For example, it’s okay to say no to a work party if that frees you up to write a meaningful card for your partner instead.
Social comparison
We might have a vision for the perfect holidays in our head, with enormous pressure to bring it to life. What makes this pressure worse is a tendency to compare our lives with what we see on social media. We could feel jealous or sad about what someone else is doing on Christmas Day like spending lots of money on a fancy trip, hosting parties in a big expensive house, or having the ‘perfect’ family (there is no such thing).To avoid feeling down or ‘not good enough’, try to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media and be intentional about the types of content you follow based on how it makes you feel. This is easier said than done, but where possible, only use it to contact your friends and family – not scroll other people’s photos and videos.
Accomplishment
We often reflect at the end of each year. Some people may experience sadness if they haven’t achieved what they set out to do or had to deal with something bad that may have happened to them.If this is causing you feelings of stress, it could help to write down the positive things that happened to you in the last 12 months, or what you’re looking forward to next year. Try not to be too hard on yourself – there are many challenges in life that can make it really tough. It’s a journey, not a destination.
Stress versus anxiety and depression
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, low in mood, or just not feeling yourself for more than a couple of weeks, we suggest you chat with your GP or contact Beyond Blue. You could also try the K10 anxiety and depression test. It’s a series of 10 questions that you can do online and will point you in the right direction for support.
